#PitchWars: My Mentee Bio

November 27, 2013 Writing Comments (15) 3040

**Quick Update: #PimpMyBio is now officially “That thing where would-be-mentees post their own Pitch Wars bios,” which is awesome, and Dannie Morin has taken on compiling the full directory–up to almost 50 at last count! If you’re an aspiring mentee, why not add your own?**

That’s right, it’s PITCH WARS 2013, and I am sending around a query and five sample pages to four would-be mentors in hope of a partnership that yields fame, fortune, and world domination. Next year, it will be me licking a sledgehammer nude on MTV! Or, you know, just a book deal would be nice.

After the hours I’ve spent reading mentor bios, it occurred to me that a would-be mentor might appreciate a similar opportunity to learn a few things about me. So I put together a little list of my own.

First, an introduction: As you can probably tell from the header, my name is Christopher Keelty. My Pitch Wars project is a 95,000-word science fiction novel (for adults) featuring superheroes and LGBT themes in a future setting. I write adult speculative fiction, usually science fiction or fantasy but sometimes tip-toeing into horror or paranormal. With that background, I present….

The Top Eight Reasons I Should Be Your Pitch Wars Mentee

8. I’m easy to collaborate with. Over thirteen years of collaborative writing in a business environment, you have to get there. I’m entirely capable of hearing criticism of my work, even if it’s sometimes harsh, without throwing a temper tantrum or declaring that YOU ARE A GATEKEEPER AND I SHALL NOW SELF-PUBLISH MY PERFECT MASTERPIECE.


7. I’ve wanted to do this since I was eleven. When I was ten I thought I wanted to draw comic books. Then I realized drawing the pictures wasn’t as much fun as writing the stories. My college major? Writing. My childhood summer camp? Writing camp. I’ve been preparing for more than two thirds of my life, and Malcolm Gladwell can kiss my rejection file. I feel ready.

6.  I am a huge trivia geek, especially when it comes to animals. Go ahead, test me. Name an animal, and I can tell you some bit of trivia about it. Ever heard of a guanaco? They have the most valuable wool on Earth. How about a pangolin? It’s the only mammal with scales. Did you know armadillos contract leprosy, or that the platypus isn’t the only mammal that lays eggs? Don’t you want me on your bar-quizzo team, New York City-based mentors? (The other egg-laying mammal is the echidna).


5. I am a crusader for social good. Outside of writing fiction, my entire professional life has been with non-profit organizations. I’ve worked for animal welfare, spent years with the ACLU fighting for equality and free expression, and now spend my days working to help people in poverty put meals on their tables. Those interests carry over to my fiction, in which I endeavor to be inclusive and work against stereotypes (while, of course, trying to write an entertaining story).

4. I’m an LGBT author who writes LGBT characters. Call me bisexual, call me queer, call me… well, I’m not a fan of QUILTBAG. But I’m an out and proud member of the gay and lesbian community, and I aim to create mainstream fiction featuring queer characters. Hell, the book I’m pitching features a gay narrator and a bisexual superhero–a couple of them, actually. Of course, once again the story is always first priority–as any queer guy knows, you can’t force it if it just won’t fit.


3. I don’t object to doing publicity. In case my Twitter feed, Tumblr page, YouTube channel, and this blog don’t say it clearly enough, I recognize the need for authors to have a public persona in order to connect with an audience and with the publishing industry. While I can have my introverted side, I genuinely enjoy talking to people, and I’m not afraid to promote myself. Sign up for my email newsletter if you need proof.

2. I dream of being a Pitch Wars mentor myself. But first I have to be an industry professional, and I suspect a few published short stories won’t cut it. Help me get that book deal so my face can be a tiny thumbnail image beside yours on Brenda Drake’s blog, and I can help fellow authors claw their way into a demanding industry!

1. You like my pitch. This is, of course, top priority. If you don’t like the pitch I sent, the rest of it seems a little immaterial. Then again, you probably wouldn’t have found my blog if you weren’t at least intrigued, so please refer to the other items, above.

[Pangolin image is from Wikimedia user Valerius_Tygart, used under Creative Commons license.]

[Sassy Taylor Lautner is one of my favorite GIFs ever, and I’m so happy I got to use it.]

15 Responses to :
#PitchWars: My Mentee Bio

  1. Suzi says:

    I’ve never heard of a guanaco or a pangolin. But if I’m every in NYC looking for someone to be on my bar quizzo team, I’d love to have you on mine. Or was that offer just open to mentors? 🙂

    Good luck in Pitch Wars!

    1. Chris says:

      Oh, you don’t have to help me get published to get me into a bar quizzo game. Though I wouldn’t turn it down. 😉 Best of luck to you, too!

  2. Keely Hutton says:

    Great Mentee bio! Love the Taylor Lautner gif! Best of luck with Pitch Wars, Chris. May your Miley Cyrus dreams come true. 😉

    1. Chris says:

      Aww, thanks! I’m already booking time with Terry Richardson. Hope it’s not presumptuous of me. As for Sassy Taylor, I like to refer to that as “the day Taylor Lautner’s hand came out.” Thanks and good luck back!

  3. Patrice says:

    Snaps for queer writers!! Good luck with your novel, it sounds amazing, the world needs more LGBT superheroes!!! I dream of being a Pitch Wars mentor myself. it sounds like a lot of work but also a lot of fun, I love giving back 🙂

  4. Great Bio! Good Luck with Pitch Wars!

  5. Awesome bio! I also hope that one day I can be a pitchwars mentor or be in a position give back to the writing community. I wish you the best of luck with your submission!

    1. Chris says:

      Thanks! Best of luck to you too, Jamie!

  6. Emily says:

    Love number 8–made me laugh! Good luck in Pitch Wars!

  7. Good luck with Pitch Wars Chris!

  8. Woot, woooot! You go with your bad self, Chris! Wishing you lots of luck. Especially since you write LGBT characters. (Being in different categories has nothing to do with my cheering for you. Really, it doesn’t.)

    1. Chris says:

      Oh don’t worry Alicia, I find it much easier to cheer for people in other categories too–even though I know there’s a huge market out there and we writers aren’t really competitors….. There’s a difference between knowing and feeling. 😉

  9. The last line of number 4. I’m glad no one was around to hear my snort-laugh. Best of luck in this round of Pitch Wars!

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