Hi there, fellow writers! I’m delighted to announce the third annual PitchWars mentee blog hop, affectionately known on Twitter by the hashtag #PimpMyBio. Dannie Morin, 2015 mentor and host in our first two years, asked me to take over this year, and I couldn’t be more excited.
First and foremost, one point must be made explicit:
** This is not an official Pitchwars event and is in no way required. **
This is something fun, a way for contestants to show some personality, get to know one another, and cheer each other on. As it happens, I know some mentors take the time to read contestant bios, but you do not have to write a bio to compete in PitchWars.
Is that all clear? Good, then let’s proceed. Continue Reading
[UPDATE: There’s a full list of this year’s mentee bios over at Dannie Morin’s site.]
It’s been less than a year since my first Pitch Wars, but the contest is back and so am I, with a new novel and a new blog bio. Last year’s bio is still up if you’d like to read it–it includes both a snarky Joe Biden and my very favorite GIF of all time, Taylor Lautner’s sassy left hand. Being that this is my second year, and my second bio, I went Google-surfing in search of inspiration…
…and landed on the contestant survey for The Bachelor (Girl Questionnaire). Which, two things: (1) Yes, that’s really what they call it, and (2) it’s surprisingly boring.
As a proud member of the LGBT community, it seems only appropriate that I respond to the Girl Questionnaire, with select modifications to make it appropriate for a would-be Pitch Wars mentee.
Have you ever applied for the show before? If so, when?
I entered Pitch Wars in November 2013 with an adult sci-fi novel, Andromedan Sons. I didn’t come away with a mentor, but I got some awesome feedback from the mentors I queried, and even from one I didn’t [I won’t name anyone without permission]. I’m planning a revision of the book, but had to put that on the back burner while I wrote this year’s book:
Tsar Bomb is an adult thriller about a detective tracking a serial killer while carrying on a love affair with a ghost who may have been one of his victims. It’s complete, it’s a little over 80,000 words long, and you’ll get to know more if you’re one of my four chosen mentees–or if the concept sounds enticing and you tweet me. I’m always happy to talk about my book. Continue Reading
A few days remain to pre-order Black Chaos, the new zombie anthology from Big Pulp! Black Chaos includes 25 new zombie tales from indie and small-press authors, including my brand-new story The Graveyard Slot.
As an incentive, I’m sharing the first few pages below. If you’d like to read the whole story, pre-order Black Chaos from Big Pulp. Note that the pre-order page is an Indigogo campaign, but the book is not contingent on reaching any financial goal. You’ll get whatever you order, no matter who else signs up.
Also note that my usual policies apply: I’m happy to sign anything you want me to sign, as long as you find a way to get it in front of me, and if you buy the book and tweet a photo of it (with or without you) at me, @keeltyc, I’ll reward you with some yet-to-be-determined prize. I’ve been thinking a drawing of your choice, but no one has yet taken me up on this offer so who really knows?
So that’s it for now. Enjoy!
The Graveyard Slot
By Christopher Keelty
Richie’s TV was on the fritz, and Mom was parked in the living room watching her American Idol or The Apprentice or So You Think You Can Castrate a Dachshund or some other bullshit. He had to pull the old Magnavox from the back closet of the basement, its plastic belly bulging with tubes and capacitors. It was hidden behind three dusty boxes of old magazines that Richie relocated, swearing under his breath. When he wrapped his arms around the Magnavox, strands of sticky spider web clung to his hands like a mummy’s wrappings. They tore free with a sound like Velcro, and Richie swore he felt hairy legs scramble across the backs of his fingers. Continue Reading
Sorry to be an absentee around here the last week or two. I’ve gone back into the writing process, this time revising the novel I finished drafting in March, Tsar Bomb. The good news is I’m almost halfway through my first read-through, and it’s the cleanest first draft I think I’ve ever written.
It still needs major work, of course, but I might be sold on the particular writing process I used on this one. Maybe I’ll share that process here at some point.
In the meantime, the video above contains a couple of announcements, about the Jersey Devil Press Sampler that went out at the Asbury Park Comicon a few weeks ago, and about the Black Chaos zombie anthology from Big Pulp that drops next month. You know, the one I’m in, that you can pre-order until June 1? That one?
Being buried in revisions, I may be posting less frequently for a while, but I’ll try to keep up. The videos and cartoons take a lot of time to create, so those particularly may be less frequent. Fiction is my first priority.
It’s pretty awesome having a hand in creating something that finds a life of its own. That’s kind of the ultimate aspiration for most creative-types (well, and finding a way to earn a living from that creativity) and I feel like I’ve had more than my share this year.
I’m participating in this year’s Pitch Wars, a writing contest hosted by the fabulous and kind Brenda Drake, and last week I put together my own “Mentee Bio,” inspired by the various participating mentors. A couple other authors (specifically, Phil Stamper and Keely Hutton) did the same, and today the concept took off, with nearly 50 writers participating at last count. There’s even a Twitter hashtag: #PimpMyBio. Continue Reading
**Quick Update: #PimpMyBio is now officially “That thing where would-be-mentees post their own Pitch Wars bios,” which is awesome, and Dannie Morin has taken on compiling the full directory–up to almost 50 at last count! If you’re an aspiring mentee, why not add your own?**
That’s right, it’s PITCH WARS 2013, and I am sending around a query and five sample pages to four would-be mentors in hope of a partnership that yields fame, fortune, and world domination. Next year, it will be me licking a sledgehammer nude on MTV! Or, you know, just a book deal would be nice.
After the hours I’ve spent reading mentor bios, it occurred to me that a would-be mentor might appreciate a similar opportunity to learn a few things about me. So I put together a little list of my own.
First, an introduction: As you can probably tell from the header, my name is Christopher Keelty. My Pitch Wars project is a 95,000-word science fiction novel (for adults) featuring superheroes and LGBT themes in a future setting. I write adult speculative fiction, usually science fiction or fantasy but sometimes tip-toeing into horror or paranormal. With that background, I present….
The Top Eight Reasons I Should Be Your Pitch Wars Mentee
8. I’m easy to collaborate with. Over thirteen years of collaborative writing in a business environment, you have to get there. I’m entirely capable of hearing criticism of my work, even if it’s sometimes harsh, without throwing a temper tantrum or declaring that YOU ARE A GATEKEEPER AND I SHALL NOW SELF-PUBLISH MY PERFECT MASTERPIECE.
Saturday night was my first Lit Crawl NYC. I had a great time with the folks from the Center for Fiction and Hyphen Magazine, and I spent most of the night with a dear friend and fellow writer who had shared good news.
The highlight of the night, though, was definitely the small black pouch I found at Three of Cups in the East Village. We were in the basement bar, a classic New York setting lit barely bright enough to see your drink, and the pouch was half-tucked between the cushions of of a sofa. I looked inside to see whether there was an ID, and instead found a baggie of weed and a dozen or so small glass vials of white powder.
I put that pouch right back where I found it. Continue Reading
NAINAINE RELEASE DAY! Also, why I couldn’t film at the New York Public Library. You get bonus points if you walked past me filming in Central Park.
I’m thrilled to announce the publication of another short story, Nainaine of the Bayou, which you can read for free right now over at Black Treacle magazine. Not only can you read the story free via your browser, the kind folks over at Black Treacle will even let you download a free ebook version of their magazine for your tablet or eReader!
Nainaine of the Bayou is set in Murka, which means it shares a world with Toll Road, though the two take place thousands of miles apart. The story follows Nell, a young girl wandering the swamps and flooded ruins of what once was New Orleans, accompanied only by her zombie grandmother. They are searching for the witch Nainaine Laveau, whose magic Nell hopes might bring Grandmere back from undeath.
Black Treacle is a magazine of horror, dark fantasy, and speculative fiction, which means I fit in just fine. While you’re there, you can read other great work by authors Mike Rimar and Christian Riley. I confess I haven’t read their stories yet (I’ve been too busy promoting my own…) but I intend to, and I’ll post reviews once I have.
I know of no further publications coming until 2014, but there are a few things brewing behind the scenes here at Keelty Labs, and I may have a few surprises left in store. For now, go check out Black Treacle, and let me know what you think.